See No, Hear No, Speak No: UFOs, Conspiracies, and Murder

So you think you know some crazy shit?

Well hello, I didn't see you standing there. With the look of passionate hunger and unquenchable thirst for knowledge of the world's strange, unexplainable, gruesome and down right fucked up shit. Even though you're an uninvited guest in the doorway of my bathing closet, I think I just might be able to help you. But only if you agree to take off that Beavis mask and stop touching yourself. Well, okay, I guess it's alright with me that you just aren't so vigorous with it. I mean...I'm not the one with the hatchet here. What? Of course not! I swear I wasn't looking at the phone, coming up with a course of action to disable you and make a run for it while calling for the authorities. So silly. Why would you even say that?

Now sit down on the rug and let me tell you a story. Cross your legs, enjoy the fig newtons and milk. Yes I know. It's not a cookie, it's fruit and cake. Also though, the whole touching yourself thing is kind of distracting...No, it's very nice. But maybe we save that for later!

It's time for me to distract, oops, I mean regale you with See No, Hear No, Speak No: UFOs, Conspiracies and Murder!

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